Out with 2011, In with 2012

When I first started this blog a year ago, it was part of a project from Shrinking Jeans, an online fitness/weight-loss community I've since lost interest in. I was really active there at the beginning, and many of the early assignments involved goals.

At the very beginning of this blog, I posted a few goals. Let's see how I did.

1. Be able to do 3 sets of 10 pull-ups on the machine with the full counterweight (114 lbs).

You know, I seem to recall being about to do this by about February or March, but I haven't attempted a pull-up since April so I have no idea. So we'll count it as failed.

2. Get my weight under 200 lbs.

I achieved this, but then gained it all back again.

Bonus goal: get my weight below 180.

I don't think I ever managed this.

3. Fit into my suit.

Never even tried, come to think of it.

Bonus goal: go down a pant size.

Nope, but I did manage to avoid going up a pant size, so there's that.

4. Complete First Day to 5k on Podrunner Intervals.

Nope, but I'm working with my trainer on being able to run an actual 5k so we'll count it as in progress.

A couple weeks later, there were more goals, none of which I achieved, and I don't even feel like recapping them here.

I would have done better had I not completely screwed up my ankle at the end of April. I find new year's resolutions, as well as fictionalized (and idealized!) letters from the future, to be quite discouraging. But hey, they were things I hadn't tried before, so I tried them.

I don't have specific goals this year, except for the vague intention of being able to run a 5k. I haven't signed up for a race or anything; it's just a general desire of mine.

Okay, that's enough recapping. I think I'll separate the rest of my ramblings into individual posts.

Weekly Weigh-in (a little late)

Weight change this week: -2
Weight change so far in 2011: -7

I really didn't expect to lose any weight this week, but I guess being sick burns calories too, since your body has to work to fight off the infection. Whatever; I'll take what I can get. :)

This week's challenge involved more micromanaging than I am comfortable with.

• First, plan your menu for the week, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. On paper.
  
• THEN go food shopping.
  
• THEN, write your workouts into your schedule or onto your calendar or into your Outlook, share these “appointments” with your family or whomever you need to know what your plans are.
  
• FINALLY, make sure that this planned-out week is written into the same calendar as all of your other goal milestone dates and the big goal! And if those aren’t in there, go put them in there! You CEO, YOU! I got a new planner just for the occasion from a store that rhymes with Schmall Schmart and it is pink and it is lovely. Best of all, it was $7. It is my partner in crime and my right hand man and it WILL get me to all my goals this year. That little pink planner.

See, now, I've tried this before. Many times. This sort of "treat it like a work appointment" trick is used for everything from painting to blogging, and it simply does not work for me. As soon as I start seeing something as a chore or obligation, I start actively avoiding it. This is true even for things I enjoy doing. For example: I view sitting down with a good book to be a real treat, but if I schedule the time from 7:30 to 8:00 tonight specifically for reading, I won't do it. I'm not entirely sure why this is, though I suspect it has to do with feeling like once it's scheduled, it's no longer a choice. And I like having choices.

Don't get me wrong: I love planners as much as (and probably more than) the next person, but scheduling every moment of every day backfires every time. I need freedom and spontaneity. Yes, I technically plan to hit the gym after work each day (though not this week while I continue to recover from illness), but I don't hold myself to a set routine, or make sure I stay there for a certain amount of time. That's just not my style. Instead, I make sure I hit all the major muscle groups and include some cardio. Telling myself I must show up for thirty minutes a day and do this-this-and-this guarantees I won't. Some days I want to use the weight machines; other days I prefer free weights. Sometimes I just want to read on the stationary bike, but then occasionally I want to use the stairclimber.

This, of course, is all completely aside from the fact that I am not the only person eating in my house. My husband does the grocery shopping and cooks dinner every night. But anyway, I know this sounds like I am wimping out on this challenge, but I know myself too well for this. I hope I can participate next week, though.

Power of One, week 2: more goals

This week's project is once again all about goals:

We’ve asked you during the beginning of the challenge to sort of outline your goals for the challenge, but here, we want you to really sit down and outline your goals in life, for the short-term and long-term and make a sort of blue print for how you want this year to go and beyond.

I'm bad with goals. I mean, there are plenty of things I'd like to do (or, more often, to have done), but picking ones to pursue is always the stickler. I want to fill up this one particular sketchbook, for example, but I also want to finish reading this book and publish that comic book and try out this new hobby and run that race. Picking a day and declaring it to be, say, Sketchbook Day has no effect on my actions. After spending the day at work doing the things I'm supposed to do, when I get home I just want to follow my whims, not assign more tasks on myself. When I give myself hard deadlines, I inevitably fail and use that as another excuse to feel sorry for myself. In fact, 2011 was the first year in several that I did not make a general list of resolutions, mostly because I looked at my 2010 list in late November and found I didn't care if I met them or not. So why make goals if I'm only going to end up either apathetic or depressed?

I know I'm being all wishy-washy about this (my husband calls me Wembley), but I've spent years honing my ability to not get my hopes up about anything, including myself. It's a useful skill for avoiding disappointment. I try to live in the moment. But I guess I'll give this whole goal thing a shot.

1. Get my to-be-read pile down to a manageable number. Like, under 50. Ideally, I'd like to get it down to under ten so I feel a bit more free about adding to it, but - baby steps. All I can do for this is to read, read, read - and learn to say no more often when people offer me books.
   
2. Finish and publish the S&R Comic. It's dumb that this isn't done, since it's all written and storyboarded. I just need to sit down and finish drawing it. The biggest part of this is thinking about it more often, so when I find myself with the time and inclination to draw, the comic is at the forefront of my mind. Often I just kinda forget it exists, y'know?
   
3. Get my weight down to something a little more reasonable, such that my doctor doesn't shake her head when I go in for my annual physical. Right now I'm doing fairly well with keeping track of my food victories (far more effective than having to report everything I eat) and going to the gym. I think blogging about it is really helping. I thought a personal journal would be good, but (1) I type faster than I write, and (2) I can do this from anywhere, not just at home. Also, since it's public, it keeps me a little more honest. Sure, I don't know of anyone who's actually reading it, but there may come a day.
   
4. Finish snarfing the rest of my home county. I have almost a hundred markers to go (out of almost 450), most of which are closer to DC where it really sucks to drive. I just need to make some more snarf maps and actually use them rather than wandering out in the opposite direction (where it's quieter and has better scenery).

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I don't have a calendar with a schedule all mapped out: like I said before, I don't do so well with that kind of structure. If it starts feeling too much like work, I start resisting. And the point of this is to accomplish things I want to accomplish, right? So we'll start with this. It's certainly far more detailed than I've ever done before. Will it all end in cheers or tears? Only time will tell.

Speaking of disappointment, I'm also trying not to take it too personally that @shrinkingjeans stopped following me on Twitter. I'd been enjoying the support in the form of @replies. Oh well; I guess I was too chatty.

And so it begins...

Originally posted on The Hood on December 29, 2010 at 5:30pm.

I've been overweight my entire life.  Never truly obese, but always well above the recommended weight for my height.  I've been going to a gym regularly for over a year now, and while I've seen some improvement on the strength-training side of things, I've actually gained weight.   And not just muscle weight, either - my waistline has unquestionably increased.

I know what my problem is: emotional eating.  I eat when I'm upset or bored or frustrated or sad.  I eat even more when I'm feeling down about my weight.  I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, which helps, but I need more discipline - especially at the office.

I've never taken part in a group weight-loss challenge before, but I've just signed up for the Power of One challenge. I hope it helps me with inspiration and motivation. Heaven knows I'm not doing any good at doing it on my own.

Today's challenge is to state my healthy living goals.  Here are some off the top of my head:

1. Be able to do 3 sets of 10 pull-ups on the machine with the full counterweight (114 lbs).
   
   • Right now I can do 3 sets of 5 with the full counterweight.
     
   • Bonus goal: be able to do it with less counterweight.
   
   
2. Get my weight under 200 lbs.
   
   • Bonus goal: get my weight below 180.
   
   
3. Fit into my suit.
   
   • Bonus goal: go down a pant size.
   
   
4. Complete First Day to 5k on Podrunner Intervals.
   
   • I did this once before, back in fall of 2007, on the concrete sidewalks of my neighborhood.  When I tried it again at the beginning of December 2010 on the indoor track at the gym, my knee completely failed me.  Oh, the pain.  I think it's because I'm too fat for my joints.
     
   • Bonus goal: complete Gateway to 8k.

So.  Here goes nothing.  I had my husband take my "before" photo and my measurements, but I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable sharing them here.  I have, however, started a new journal just for diet and fitness.  The front is covered with "totally awesome!!!" in assorted fonts, which seems appropriate.  I love to journal, so maybe this will help with my motivation.