Out with 2011, In with 2012

When I first started this blog a year ago, it was part of a project from Shrinking Jeans, an online fitness/weight-loss community I've since lost interest in. I was really active there at the beginning, and many of the early assignments involved goals.

At the very beginning of this blog, I posted a few goals. Let's see how I did.

1. Be able to do 3 sets of 10 pull-ups on the machine with the full counterweight (114 lbs).

You know, I seem to recall being about to do this by about February or March, but I haven't attempted a pull-up since April so I have no idea. So we'll count it as failed.

2. Get my weight under 200 lbs.

I achieved this, but then gained it all back again.

Bonus goal: get my weight below 180.

I don't think I ever managed this.

3. Fit into my suit.

Never even tried, come to think of it.

Bonus goal: go down a pant size.

Nope, but I did manage to avoid going up a pant size, so there's that.

4. Complete First Day to 5k on Podrunner Intervals.

Nope, but I'm working with my trainer on being able to run an actual 5k so we'll count it as in progress.

A couple weeks later, there were more goals, none of which I achieved, and I don't even feel like recapping them here.

I would have done better had I not completely screwed up my ankle at the end of April. I find new year's resolutions, as well as fictionalized (and idealized!) letters from the future, to be quite discouraging. But hey, they were things I hadn't tried before, so I tried them.

I don't have specific goals this year, except for the vague intention of being able to run a 5k. I haven't signed up for a race or anything; it's just a general desire of mine.

Okay, that's enough recapping. I think I'll separate the rest of my ramblings into individual posts.

Wow.

I made the Power of One leaderboard one last time. I didn't expect to, but I guess Nutrisystem gave me that extra boost there at the end.

I wonder what the next challenge will be. It's supposed to start up next Wednesday again, and probably won't be a solo challenge this time around. I guess I'll decide if I'm going to participate when they announce it.

Weekly Weigh-in

Weight change this week: -1
Weight change so far in 2011: -9

This actually might be just a touch high, as I forgot to weigh myself before dinner like I usually do.

Evidently there's only one more weigh-in for this "Power of One" project. Huh. I doubt I'll keep up the Wednesday Weigh-in schedule, but I'll pop in now and again.

Today is day 3 of Nutrisystem and I think my body will have completely adjusted by the end of the week. My stomach feels vaguely unhappy most of the time, which may be hunger or might just be a reaction to my drastically increased fiber intake, but it gets better each day. And I've found it's pretty easy to not cheat because I know exactly what and when I'm eating next. Sure, I've been more or less measuring my day by how far away my next meal is, but I think that will go away once I get completely used to the reduced portions.

Hump Day Happies

Weight change this week: -1
Weight change so far in 2011: -8

I attended the goodbye luncheon for my former supervisor today. It was at T.G.I. Friday's. I thought long and hard about what to eat, and ended up with a half sandwich/half wedge salad, with water to drink. It was really tasty, and at the end of it I felt like I could have eaten more, but didn't need to. So that felt good. You can't imagine how hard it is for me to resist french fries!

I wasn't really in the mood to go to the gym tonight. I didn't feel like lifting weights and most of the cardio was off-limits while I recover from yesterday's fall on the ice. So I went up to the indoor track, loaded up one of the Podrunner mixes, and told myself that I didn't have to do anything in particular, but I wasn't allowed to leave that track for the entirety of the hour-long mix.

And you know what? I mostly walked, but I ran quite a bit too. I took it easy, careful to put most of the impact on my toes, not worrying about speed. And I kept moving for that entire hour.

And most importantly, my knee didn't hurt at all. Score! :D

Weekly Weigh-in (a little late)

Weight change this week: -2
Weight change so far in 2011: -7

I really didn't expect to lose any weight this week, but I guess being sick burns calories too, since your body has to work to fight off the infection. Whatever; I'll take what I can get. :)

This week's challenge involved more micromanaging than I am comfortable with.

• First, plan your menu for the week, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. On paper.
  
• THEN go food shopping.
  
• THEN, write your workouts into your schedule or onto your calendar or into your Outlook, share these “appointments” with your family or whomever you need to know what your plans are.
  
• FINALLY, make sure that this planned-out week is written into the same calendar as all of your other goal milestone dates and the big goal! And if those aren’t in there, go put them in there! You CEO, YOU! I got a new planner just for the occasion from a store that rhymes with Schmall Schmart and it is pink and it is lovely. Best of all, it was $7. It is my partner in crime and my right hand man and it WILL get me to all my goals this year. That little pink planner.

See, now, I've tried this before. Many times. This sort of "treat it like a work appointment" trick is used for everything from painting to blogging, and it simply does not work for me. As soon as I start seeing something as a chore or obligation, I start actively avoiding it. This is true even for things I enjoy doing. For example: I view sitting down with a good book to be a real treat, but if I schedule the time from 7:30 to 8:00 tonight specifically for reading, I won't do it. I'm not entirely sure why this is, though I suspect it has to do with feeling like once it's scheduled, it's no longer a choice. And I like having choices.

Don't get me wrong: I love planners as much as (and probably more than) the next person, but scheduling every moment of every day backfires every time. I need freedom and spontaneity. Yes, I technically plan to hit the gym after work each day (though not this week while I continue to recover from illness), but I don't hold myself to a set routine, or make sure I stay there for a certain amount of time. That's just not my style. Instead, I make sure I hit all the major muscle groups and include some cardio. Telling myself I must show up for thirty minutes a day and do this-this-and-this guarantees I won't. Some days I want to use the weight machines; other days I prefer free weights. Sometimes I just want to read on the stationary bike, but then occasionally I want to use the stairclimber.

This, of course, is all completely aside from the fact that I am not the only person eating in my house. My husband does the grocery shopping and cooks dinner every night. But anyway, I know this sounds like I am wimping out on this challenge, but I know myself too well for this. I hope I can participate next week, though.

Power of One, week 2: more goals

This week's project is once again all about goals:

We’ve asked you during the beginning of the challenge to sort of outline your goals for the challenge, but here, we want you to really sit down and outline your goals in life, for the short-term and long-term and make a sort of blue print for how you want this year to go and beyond.

I'm bad with goals. I mean, there are plenty of things I'd like to do (or, more often, to have done), but picking ones to pursue is always the stickler. I want to fill up this one particular sketchbook, for example, but I also want to finish reading this book and publish that comic book and try out this new hobby and run that race. Picking a day and declaring it to be, say, Sketchbook Day has no effect on my actions. After spending the day at work doing the things I'm supposed to do, when I get home I just want to follow my whims, not assign more tasks on myself. When I give myself hard deadlines, I inevitably fail and use that as another excuse to feel sorry for myself. In fact, 2011 was the first year in several that I did not make a general list of resolutions, mostly because I looked at my 2010 list in late November and found I didn't care if I met them or not. So why make goals if I'm only going to end up either apathetic or depressed?

I know I'm being all wishy-washy about this (my husband calls me Wembley), but I've spent years honing my ability to not get my hopes up about anything, including myself. It's a useful skill for avoiding disappointment. I try to live in the moment. But I guess I'll give this whole goal thing a shot.

1. Get my to-be-read pile down to a manageable number. Like, under 50. Ideally, I'd like to get it down to under ten so I feel a bit more free about adding to it, but - baby steps. All I can do for this is to read, read, read - and learn to say no more often when people offer me books.
   
2. Finish and publish the S&R Comic. It's dumb that this isn't done, since it's all written and storyboarded. I just need to sit down and finish drawing it. The biggest part of this is thinking about it more often, so when I find myself with the time and inclination to draw, the comic is at the forefront of my mind. Often I just kinda forget it exists, y'know?
   
3. Get my weight down to something a little more reasonable, such that my doctor doesn't shake her head when I go in for my annual physical. Right now I'm doing fairly well with keeping track of my food victories (far more effective than having to report everything I eat) and going to the gym. I think blogging about it is really helping. I thought a personal journal would be good, but (1) I type faster than I write, and (2) I can do this from anywhere, not just at home. Also, since it's public, it keeps me a little more honest. Sure, I don't know of anyone who's actually reading it, but there may come a day.
   
4. Finish snarfing the rest of my home county. I have almost a hundred markers to go (out of almost 450), most of which are closer to DC where it really sucks to drive. I just need to make some more snarf maps and actually use them rather than wandering out in the opposite direction (where it's quieter and has better scenery).

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I don't have a calendar with a schedule all mapped out: like I said before, I don't do so well with that kind of structure. If it starts feeling too much like work, I start resisting. And the point of this is to accomplish things I want to accomplish, right? So we'll start with this. It's certainly far more detailed than I've ever done before. Will it all end in cheers or tears? Only time will tell.

Speaking of disappointment, I'm also trying not to take it too personally that @shrinkingjeans stopped following me on Twitter. I'd been enjoying the support in the form of @replies. Oh well; I guess I was too chatty.

All-in-One 1/12/11

Got lots to report, so I figured I might as well put it all in one mega-post.

First: the weekly weigh-in. I've been dreading this.

Weight change this week: -1
Weight change so far in 2011: -6

Second: victories!

• There were two mostly-finished 2-liters of soda in the office kitchen up for grabs: one Diet Coke, one regular Coke. I really like regular Coke (and finishing it off would have meant I could keep the Coke Rewards points), but I only took the Diet Coke.
  
• I wanted a midmorning snack, preferably something in the pastry food group. I had coffee.
  
• I wanted a snack pretty much immediately after lunch, but instead waited until right before I left for the gym, when I had a packet of oatmeal to sustain me through my workout.

Third: gym recap.

Format: exercise - reps x sets - weight - notes (if applicable)

• pull-ups - 5x3 - 112lb counterweight - arms out - Oddly easy again. I dunno.
  
• dips - 12x3 - 112lb counterweight
  
• abdominal crunch machine - 50x2 - 35 lbs
  
• lower back machine - 50x2 - 35 lbs - this is basically a reverse crunch
  
• hip adduction - 15x3 - 90 lbs
  
• hip abduction - 15x3 - 90 lbs
  
• lat pull-downs - 12x3 - 62.5 lbs
  
• lawnmower pulls with free weights - 12x3/arm - 15lbs/arm - no idea what this is really called.
  
• calf machine - 12x3 - 100 lbs
  
• squat machine - 12x3 - 90lbs

The real challenge will be this weekend. My husband won't be around to cook nutritious meals for me, and I'm kind of helpless on my own. Will I be able to resist the siren song of fast food? Only time will tell.

Victories 1/6/11

• There was a bag of Fritos up for grabs in the office kitchen when I got here this morning. I love Fritos. I did not take it.
  
• There was candy there later in the day, and I didn't take any. This is a more minor victory, as the candy was in the form of taffy and candy canes, neither of which I'm incredibly fond of, but in the past I have often grabbed whatever was in the kitchen just to try it. And this time I didn't.
  
• I'm #8 on the Week One Leaderboard. Craziness, man! I guess this means I'm only 97.7% of the woman I used to be. And I'm okay with that. :)

The percentage ratio is an odd measure. I mean, I'd think it would skew in favor thinner people, since 5 pounds is a greater percentage of 130 pounds than 230 pounds, but maybe not since (a) thinner people tend to have less weight to lose, and (b) they lose it more slowly. Hypothetically, that is. I've never been in the "last ten pounds to lose" camp, so I don't know if rate of weight loss is at all affected by how much you weigh to begin with. But it sounds reasonable. :)

Power of One, week 1: letter from your future self

I'm not sure how accurate this graphic is, since the Monday Project turned into The Monthly Project, but now they say it's going back to weekly in 2011. But that's not important right now. This week/month's project is to write a letter to yourself, imagining you are writing from this time next year. Work from the assumption that you've reached all your goals, and write like it actually happened.

Here goes nothing.

Hello from 2012, me.

Well, you finally did it. You finally went down a clothing size for the first time in your life, and it looks like we're going to hang out here for a while, or maybe even shrink some more. I'm so glad you finally sucked it up and started trying out the classes at the gym. It feels so great to have found one I really enjoy, and it mixes up the old exercise routine. It keeps things interesting, and you've even made a couple of gym-friends. The best part is that you're running again - you already finished the Podrunner Intervals "First Day to 5k" program and are well into the "Gateway to 8k" program. And your knee is fine. Rock on, Hermes! Maybe by this time next year you'll have participated in your very first race!

You never did kick that soda habit, but I still maintain that a zero-calorie caffeinated drink is still better than eating junk when I'm sleepy. On the other hand, you did kick the McDonald's breakfast habit. Sure, I still like to grab the occasional sausage burrito, but it's not nearly as often, nor in as much quantity, as in 2010. I still can't believe you managed to get into the groove of weekly weigh-ins; it's such a good motivator. Blogging your food victories was another great idea you stuck with.

In non-fitness-related news, you'll be pleased to hear that you did finally finish and publish the S&R comic, and Bill performed that solo show he was working on. The song he wrote for you is lovely. Things picked up at work and you're finally gaining a little more confidence in yourself. And the convention went perfectly, so don't fret about that.

You'll enjoy 2011, I promise. I sure did.

much love,
your future self

And so it begins...

Originally posted on The Hood on December 29, 2010 at 5:30pm.

I've been overweight my entire life.  Never truly obese, but always well above the recommended weight for my height.  I've been going to a gym regularly for over a year now, and while I've seen some improvement on the strength-training side of things, I've actually gained weight.   And not just muscle weight, either - my waistline has unquestionably increased.

I know what my problem is: emotional eating.  I eat when I'm upset or bored or frustrated or sad.  I eat even more when I'm feeling down about my weight.  I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, which helps, but I need more discipline - especially at the office.

I've never taken part in a group weight-loss challenge before, but I've just signed up for the Power of One challenge. I hope it helps me with inspiration and motivation. Heaven knows I'm not doing any good at doing it on my own.

Today's challenge is to state my healthy living goals.  Here are some off the top of my head:

1. Be able to do 3 sets of 10 pull-ups on the machine with the full counterweight (114 lbs).
   
   • Right now I can do 3 sets of 5 with the full counterweight.
     
   • Bonus goal: be able to do it with less counterweight.
   
   
2. Get my weight under 200 lbs.
   
   • Bonus goal: get my weight below 180.
   
   
3. Fit into my suit.
   
   • Bonus goal: go down a pant size.
   
   
4. Complete First Day to 5k on Podrunner Intervals.
   
   • I did this once before, back in fall of 2007, on the concrete sidewalks of my neighborhood.  When I tried it again at the beginning of December 2010 on the indoor track at the gym, my knee completely failed me.  Oh, the pain.  I think it's because I'm too fat for my joints.
     
   • Bonus goal: complete Gateway to 8k.

So.  Here goes nothing.  I had my husband take my "before" photo and my measurements, but I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable sharing them here.  I have, however, started a new journal just for diet and fitness.  The front is covered with "totally awesome!!!" in assorted fonts, which seems appropriate.  I love to journal, so maybe this will help with my motivation.