Victories and Gym Recap 1/31/11

I really need to get back on the bandwagon with this. It makes me feel good and it really helps keep me on track.

• Last night I dreamed it was Friday, and it was so convincing that when I woke up I almost skipped breakfast because it was doughnut day (my office provides free doughnuts and bagels every Friday). When I realized it was Monday, I was so disheartened, and considered just going to McDonald's. But I stayed home and made my own breakfast instead.
  
• Thought about McDonald's again on the way to work and very nearly stopped, but managed not to.
  
• Felt starving around 9:30am (I have "bottomless pit" days every now and again, where I feel hungry pretty much all day long). Once again considered McDonald's (dude, I really love their sausage burritos), but once again managed to resist. It helped that my coworker gave me one of her diet shakes, which means I consumed only 230 calories instead of two or three times that.
  
• Felt hungry all freaking day. Ate oatmeal before going to the gym, then ate a normal-sized dinner. Still hungry, but it's almost bedtime so I'm resisting.
  
• SO many things to get done tonight, but I refused to use that as an excuse to skip the gym. Yay!

But, because I am so swamped, I went "easy" on the gym today: 30 minutes on the recumbent stationary bike, 10.8 miles, level 7. I don't remember the "calories burned" count, but it was something like 182.

Weekly Weigh-in (a little late)

Weight change this week: -2
Weight change so far in 2011: -7

I really didn't expect to lose any weight this week, but I guess being sick burns calories too, since your body has to work to fight off the infection. Whatever; I'll take what I can get. :)

This week's challenge involved more micromanaging than I am comfortable with.

• First, plan your menu for the week, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. On paper.
  
• THEN go food shopping.
  
• THEN, write your workouts into your schedule or onto your calendar or into your Outlook, share these “appointments” with your family or whomever you need to know what your plans are.
  
• FINALLY, make sure that this planned-out week is written into the same calendar as all of your other goal milestone dates and the big goal! And if those aren’t in there, go put them in there! You CEO, YOU! I got a new planner just for the occasion from a store that rhymes with Schmall Schmart and it is pink and it is lovely. Best of all, it was $7. It is my partner in crime and my right hand man and it WILL get me to all my goals this year. That little pink planner.

See, now, I've tried this before. Many times. This sort of "treat it like a work appointment" trick is used for everything from painting to blogging, and it simply does not work for me. As soon as I start seeing something as a chore or obligation, I start actively avoiding it. This is true even for things I enjoy doing. For example: I view sitting down with a good book to be a real treat, but if I schedule the time from 7:30 to 8:00 tonight specifically for reading, I won't do it. I'm not entirely sure why this is, though I suspect it has to do with feeling like once it's scheduled, it's no longer a choice. And I like having choices.

Don't get me wrong: I love planners as much as (and probably more than) the next person, but scheduling every moment of every day backfires every time. I need freedom and spontaneity. Yes, I technically plan to hit the gym after work each day (though not this week while I continue to recover from illness), but I don't hold myself to a set routine, or make sure I stay there for a certain amount of time. That's just not my style. Instead, I make sure I hit all the major muscle groups and include some cardio. Telling myself I must show up for thirty minutes a day and do this-this-and-this guarantees I won't. Some days I want to use the weight machines; other days I prefer free weights. Sometimes I just want to read on the stationary bike, but then occasionally I want to use the stairclimber.

This, of course, is all completely aside from the fact that I am not the only person eating in my house. My husband does the grocery shopping and cooks dinner every night. But anyway, I know this sounds like I am wimping out on this challenge, but I know myself too well for this. I hope I can participate next week, though.

Back from the Dead

Okay, so I've been slacking a bit on this whole blogging (and weight-losing) thing. You'll notice I haven't posted any victories lately. That's because there haven't really been any to speak of. I've been tired and eating like crap because of it, and then this past weekend I caught The Crud that's been going around, and was more or less bedridden for three days straight.

I'm still a little sniffly, but I seem to be on the mend, so it's time to get back into the swing of things. Unfortunately, this does not include the gym this week, since I've been sleeping so poorly and do not want to risk running myself down again so soon, but there are other things I can do. Like pay attention to what I'm eating.

In related news, my sister gave me a gift subscription to Self Magazine. I told her I'd actually read it and not just draw the models. ;) Seriously, though, I'm hoping it's good motivation. If nothing else, I can use the workout tips for some variety at the gym.

Tonight is the weekly weigh-in, and I'll be shocked if I haven't gained more weight back. See, this is what happens: I'm all excited for a week or two, then I go back to my old habits. It's discouraging. How do I regain my momentum?

Wednesday Weakness

Weight change this week: +1
Weight change so far in 2011: -5

I fully expected to gain weight this week, and in fact I'm a little surprised I didn't gain more. I ate junk all weekend and didn't hold back at all. I skipped the gym on Friday because I had too much to get done (and indeed didn't get home until after midnight), Saturday and Sunday because I had people over all day to work on convention stuff (though I certainly got a workout lugging boxes of books all over the place), Monday because I was just insanely tired, and yesterday because we had an ice storm.

I went today, however, and tried out the BODYPUMP class. I'm not really one for group classes, but since they're included with my membership fee I figured I should at least try them out. The instructor was really nice, taking a few minutes before class to show me what kind of gear I needed and what sorts of moves we'd be doing.

And you know, it was really hard. But it was a good kind of hard, and the hour went by quickly. The instructor remembered my name and encouraged me to come back next week. I just might.

Victories 1/13/11

• My coworker brought in homemade cupcakes and offered them to the group. Later he offered them to me specifically. I declined both times.
  
• The 2-liter was Coke was still in the office kitchen, tempting me, at the same level as when I first saw it. I dumped it out and took the cap for the Coke Rewards code.
  
• I was on my own for dinner, and I could have easily gone out and gotten fast food. But no, I had leftovers from last night.

Power of One, week 2: more goals

This week's project is once again all about goals:

We’ve asked you during the beginning of the challenge to sort of outline your goals for the challenge, but here, we want you to really sit down and outline your goals in life, for the short-term and long-term and make a sort of blue print for how you want this year to go and beyond.

I'm bad with goals. I mean, there are plenty of things I'd like to do (or, more often, to have done), but picking ones to pursue is always the stickler. I want to fill up this one particular sketchbook, for example, but I also want to finish reading this book and publish that comic book and try out this new hobby and run that race. Picking a day and declaring it to be, say, Sketchbook Day has no effect on my actions. After spending the day at work doing the things I'm supposed to do, when I get home I just want to follow my whims, not assign more tasks on myself. When I give myself hard deadlines, I inevitably fail and use that as another excuse to feel sorry for myself. In fact, 2011 was the first year in several that I did not make a general list of resolutions, mostly because I looked at my 2010 list in late November and found I didn't care if I met them or not. So why make goals if I'm only going to end up either apathetic or depressed?

I know I'm being all wishy-washy about this (my husband calls me Wembley), but I've spent years honing my ability to not get my hopes up about anything, including myself. It's a useful skill for avoiding disappointment. I try to live in the moment. But I guess I'll give this whole goal thing a shot.

1. Get my to-be-read pile down to a manageable number. Like, under 50. Ideally, I'd like to get it down to under ten so I feel a bit more free about adding to it, but - baby steps. All I can do for this is to read, read, read - and learn to say no more often when people offer me books.
   
2. Finish and publish the S&R Comic. It's dumb that this isn't done, since it's all written and storyboarded. I just need to sit down and finish drawing it. The biggest part of this is thinking about it more often, so when I find myself with the time and inclination to draw, the comic is at the forefront of my mind. Often I just kinda forget it exists, y'know?
   
3. Get my weight down to something a little more reasonable, such that my doctor doesn't shake her head when I go in for my annual physical. Right now I'm doing fairly well with keeping track of my food victories (far more effective than having to report everything I eat) and going to the gym. I think blogging about it is really helping. I thought a personal journal would be good, but (1) I type faster than I write, and (2) I can do this from anywhere, not just at home. Also, since it's public, it keeps me a little more honest. Sure, I don't know of anyone who's actually reading it, but there may come a day.
   
4. Finish snarfing the rest of my home county. I have almost a hundred markers to go (out of almost 450), most of which are closer to DC where it really sucks to drive. I just need to make some more snarf maps and actually use them rather than wandering out in the opposite direction (where it's quieter and has better scenery).

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I don't have a calendar with a schedule all mapped out: like I said before, I don't do so well with that kind of structure. If it starts feeling too much like work, I start resisting. And the point of this is to accomplish things I want to accomplish, right? So we'll start with this. It's certainly far more detailed than I've ever done before. Will it all end in cheers or tears? Only time will tell.

Speaking of disappointment, I'm also trying not to take it too personally that @shrinkingjeans stopped following me on Twitter. I'd been enjoying the support in the form of @replies. Oh well; I guess I was too chatty.

All-in-One 1/12/11

Got lots to report, so I figured I might as well put it all in one mega-post.

First: the weekly weigh-in. I've been dreading this.

Weight change this week: -1
Weight change so far in 2011: -6

Second: victories!

• There were two mostly-finished 2-liters of soda in the office kitchen up for grabs: one Diet Coke, one regular Coke. I really like regular Coke (and finishing it off would have meant I could keep the Coke Rewards points), but I only took the Diet Coke.
  
• I wanted a midmorning snack, preferably something in the pastry food group. I had coffee.
  
• I wanted a snack pretty much immediately after lunch, but instead waited until right before I left for the gym, when I had a packet of oatmeal to sustain me through my workout.

Third: gym recap.

Format: exercise - reps x sets - weight - notes (if applicable)

• pull-ups - 5x3 - 112lb counterweight - arms out - Oddly easy again. I dunno.
  
• dips - 12x3 - 112lb counterweight
  
• abdominal crunch machine - 50x2 - 35 lbs
  
• lower back machine - 50x2 - 35 lbs - this is basically a reverse crunch
  
• hip adduction - 15x3 - 90 lbs
  
• hip abduction - 15x3 - 90 lbs
  
• lat pull-downs - 12x3 - 62.5 lbs
  
• lawnmower pulls with free weights - 12x3/arm - 15lbs/arm - no idea what this is really called.
  
• calf machine - 12x3 - 100 lbs
  
• squat machine - 12x3 - 90lbs

The real challenge will be this weekend. My husband won't be around to cook nutritious meals for me, and I'm kind of helpless on my own. Will I be able to resist the siren song of fast food? Only time will tell.